Today I woke up with the itch to write about something that's been on my mind lately. I am going to take a little detour from my "keys to a modest wardrobe" series and broach a somewhat uncomfortable topic...G O S S I P. I was recently challenged by this topic, after hearing our pastor Steve preach a message titled "Loving God With Your Words". Feel free to listen to his sermon here:
http://www.gbcob.org/sermon/loving-god-with-your-words
(copy and paste, and then you can download/stream it) :)
The verses he appropriately chose to focus on were Ephesians 4:29-32:
29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
I particularly recall a part of Steve's message where he talked about the feeling of regret after you've said something you know you know you shouldn't have, which may haunt you for days after and cause you and others grief. Steve said he wished that speech worked in a way where we could visually see the string of words leave our mouth, so we could sort of "edit" or take back what we realize could be harmful to others. I can totally relate to this, for I can think of several instances where this could have saved me some future grief.
Most who know me well, know that I am often more of a listener/thinker than a talker. However, I do have some friends (and my mom) who I can gab off to for hours and hours. It is especially those times that I have to be cautious with what is coming out of my mouth. It saddens me that I would be the cause of grief to anyone, just from mere words that came from my mouth. God uniquely designed the human species to be able to use the mouth and tongue for speech and communication with one another...and yet we abuse it every day!
Gossip turns into slander when we purposely want to harm someone's reputation by spreading rumors about them. What instantly comes to mind for me are all the silly celebrity tabloids you see in the grocery store (or online). I feel sad for those celebrities, though same may argue that it's what they signed up for. Still, I can't bring myself to believe that even celebrities who get that all the time don't feel some pain over what is falsely said about them.
Speaking of celebrities, I've come to realize just how obsessed our culture is with DRAMA and gossip. Just flip through the television channels sometime, and I can assure you that you will come up with at least a few examples of this obsession. Shamefully, I have seen a couple episodes of those "Real Housewives" shows and also "The Bachelor". They are full of gossip, drama, slander, and all kinds of other junk. Yet, people are drawn to that stuff. Why? I think one reason is because it's often more enjoyable to sit back and watch others involved in a drama. You don't (usually) suffer any direct consequences, and yet shouldn't we feel just as much guilt as those involved? I know what God's view would be...Yes, we are just as guilty if we sit back and soak in the drama.
Think of it this way...would you let your younger daughter watch those kinds of shows? Think about how her attitude might change towards her friends...towards you and family? If we are sitting around watching those shows, then we are also setting an example for our little ones. I am speaking to myself here too, because I am just as guilty to being drawn into those shows.
Thankfully, we do have the greatest example of forgiveness.
Ephesians 4: 32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
We can never full grasp the depths of the gift we've been given of mercy and forgiveness, but we can at the very least appreciate it and remember it as the ultimate guideline to dealing with forgiving others in our own lives. With gossip the consequences can include tears, hurt, sorrow, anger, thoughts of revenge, regret, broken relationships, and even terminated relationships. However, there is always the option of confession, forgiveness, and redemption. When we let our tongues run in an unholy manner, we are offending God. He is our maker and he desires (and commands) us to honor him with our words. Therefore, we must first confess to and seek forgiveness from God. Then, we are to ask for forgiveness from the one(s) we have gossiped about. To me, this is the hardest part. Often times, we may start a string of gossip without even wanting the person being gossiped about to ever know where it all started (we want our sin to stay hidden). We can't hide from God, and I've come to see that many times God will reveal the gossiper so that they may suffer the consequences of their actions. We must humble ourselves and make the first step in mending our wrong, no matter how hard it may be. In turn, we must be forgivers ourselves. If we hold a grudge against our friend for something they've said, then we are not demonstrating a christ-like forgiveness. How can we expect others to forgive us, when we can't forgive others?
Pastor Steve made it clear that "a happy christian does not gossip". I don't know about you...but I know I want to experience the fullest joy possible. I want to start by ridding myself of the sour words that plague my tongue. Granted, I will slip up from time to time because I am not perfect. I do know that I have a faithful savior who will forgive me when I do fall, which is a great assurance.
I challenge myself and my readers to consider how gossip/any unwholesome talk may be affecting your example of a modest, christian woman. Remember, words can stick with a person for a long time and people will start to question your character if your words don't match your beliefs/actions. My newest motto is "A truly beautiful, modest woman does not gossip or let any unwholesome talk leave her lips. Her words are sweet, pure and build up others while honoring God". Okay, so maybe that isn't a motto (since it's a bit lengthy) but this is what I hope to use (as well as Ephesians 4) as a reminder the next time I see an ugly stream of words in my head.
Let's strive to not pick up the title of "gossip girl", ladies. :)
Blessings,
Anna
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