Happy Tuesday!
I will go ahead and get right to the meat and potatoes of my post for today, which focuses on the next 3 keys of a modest wardrobe. Keys 8-10 are listed below:
8. Layer it on
9. Don't Judge
10. Be Confident but Save the Sexy
Key #8: Layer it on
Key 8 is all about finding ways to work with what you have to create a more modest look. Admittedly, there can be some pretty cute tops that have a fun pattern or look, but are missing the important modesty aspect. I have a few tops and dresses that (if worn alone) could be considered low cut, too short or immodest. The easy solution for this is to use layers. Coordinating tank tops/spaghetti strap shirts worn underneath are an excellent way to solve the issue of a low-cut or short/cropped shirt. I have several of these in various colors, to go with a lot of my wardrobe. A white and a black tank are the basics you might want to start off with, and then experiment with other colors to match your wardrobe.
Sweaters/cardigans are another favorite layering item of mine. I personally don't care to wear spaghetti strap shirts or dresses on their own, but I will still find cute tops or dresses with small straps that I fall in love with. The solution- throw on a sweater or cardigan! I know, summer can be more difficult especially when you want to be wearing the least amount of layers as possible...but there are lighter sweaters, cover ups, short sleeved boleros, etc. available out there for those of us who choose not to expose that area of our bodies. I think some women CAN pull off spaghetti straps or even strapless clothing beautifully and still maintain a modest look, but it just isn't for me. I personally save those items for just wearing around the house.
A few other wonderful layering items are leggings/tights and scarves. For colder weather, these are especially nice for keeping warm and they are fashionable as well. Leggings have really made a come back lately, so it isn't like you have to feel like you're in an 80's movie when you go out in them. :) I like to wear leggings with both short and long dresses usually with a pair of my favorite boots. This results in a look that is trendy, warm and modest. Scarves are a super fun accessory, they can be worn in many different ways, and they are also fairly easy to crochet/knit. Scarves can jazz up a basic sweater, or can make a cute head covering, or even cover up an immodest neckline. 
Oh, the 80's.
Oh, the 80's.
Key #8: Don't Judge
Okay, so I will come right out and admit that this is one of the keys that I struggle with the most. As humans, it tends to be much easier for us to look at our neighbor and think or say something judgmental then to see ourselves as the issue. When we judge others, we are being unkind and the Bible is pretty clear about God being the rightful judge of mankind. Matthew 7: 1-5 paints a pretty good picture of what God thinks about Christians judging others:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Uh...yeah. Pretty convicting stuff. I have to go back to this verse quite frequently, as a humble reminder to be careful with my where my thoughts take me sometimes. I especially struggle with respecting celebrities/public figures who carry themselves immodestly or dress "trashy". It is easy for me to judge them with human eyes. On the other hand, I feel sadness and compassion for these lost souls, for I know they are trying to fill emptiness in the wrong ways. And yet I cringe whenever I see a Victoria's Secret catalogue lying around, or see a scantily clad woman in a movie, or a billboard bearing too much skin. We live in a world of lost souls who don't know that sometimes don't know immodesty is wrong and sinful, or rather they are lacking the conviction of the Holy Spirit. What is even harder for me, is to not judge those who do recognize the consequences of immodesty, yet still struggle to dress and act in a modest manner. It is too easy to look at these women and call them "hypocrites". However, I need to catch myself and ask for forgiveness when I am quick to judge and think poorly upon these women because every single one of them are seen as precious in my Savior's eyes. I think this may very well be one of my greatest flaws (and yes I realize I'm revealing this to the whole cyber world...those who read my blog anyway lol). I am praying that God continues to give me the gift of compassion towards these women, rather than allow me to carry on this thorn of judgmental thoughts.
Some application? Rather than be quick to judge, I encourage you to pray and ask God to give you eyes of compassion for those you portray as immodest. Be kind and gracious, building others up rather than tearing them down. If you have a friend or family member who is acting or dressing immodestly, pray for wisdom in dealing with how you can be an influence on this person or be given the words to speak to them about their lifestyle.
Key #9: Be Confident but Save the Sexy
The last key for today is pretty self explanatory. Mostly, I just want women to know that confidence doesn't have to mean being sexy. I believe God designed marriage to be the rightful place for women to show off their bodies and "be sexy" but sadly we don't live in a world that often honors God's commands. As christian women, I believe it's important to be respectful with the body God has given us as well as show respect to our husbands, boyfriends and other men we encounter by dressing and acting in a modest manner. This goes back to one of the first keys I discussed, "think like a man". As women, I do believe we desire men to find us attractive, confident and beautiful. Some women take this to the extreme, however, by flaunting their bodies shamelessly to every man they cross. They may feel the best way to exude confidence and/or attract a man is to show off their bodies. Honestly, true confidence comes from within and how you dress doesn't necessarily mean you are confident or lacking confidence. When I think of a confident woman, I picture someone who is secure in who they are and what they believe and usually dresses more on the modest side. When I think of someone who is either over-confident (in a bad way) or one who is lacking confidence, I picture someone who dresses over the top and immodestly. I hope that makes sense?
So, just a few tips on how to be confident but save the Sexy:
1. Accept who you are- a beautiful, precious creation of God
2. Love your body- Take care of yourself: physically, emotionally and spiritually
3. Let your attraction be your personality rather than your body
4. Respect yourself and men by dressing modestly
5. Stick with it- Don't let society, friends, family try and change who you are and what you believe. Your confidence should not be depend upon how others perceive you.
Well, that's all I have for now :) I'll cover the next few keys when I get the chance (or feel motivated) to blog again, hopefully soon!
Blessings,
Anna
