Keys to A Modest Wardrobe: Keys 3&4

3&4

To start off this post, I want to share a personal (sort-of) epiphany that arose in me the other day. I used to (and still do at times)struggle with accepting some truths about the way this world is (and how corrupt it really is). I didn't understand the amount of pain and agony some endure while others live relatively peaceful lives and seem to "have it all together". 

Then, I came to realize (my sort-of epiphany) that no one really "has it all together"... Not 24/7 anyway, or not like we assume so. There's a quote I like that goes something like "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." This struck me as one of those "duh" lightbulbs, but still I believe it's something we should all think about.  

Do you ever have friends or know people who seem to have the PERFECT LIFE? The perfect job, perfect home, perfect car, perfect clothes, perfect appearance, perfect vacations, perfect kids, perfect report card...you name it?? No one is perfect (only Jesus Christ), but at times I do tend to buy into the lie that these people "have it all together" especially when I don't. Well, my belief is that we really can't know what everyone is dealing with. Some people are very good about putting on a face, and pretending that everything is "just peachy". Others can more easily wear their emotions on their sleeve. I think vulnerability is one of the hardest things for people to show others. Pride, shame, embarrassment, and fear of rejection are also a few other obstacles when it comes to sharing the hard stuff with others. So, mostly I just want to open your eyes to this idea that no one is perfect and everyone is dealing with something (though for some, the good may be outweighing the bad or vice versa). I think modesty or lack of modesty can also be a result of what a person is dealing with in their life.

In my last post, I dove deeper into the first two keys ("Ask yourself" and "Think Like a Man"). Today, I will continue on and give you more insight on the next two keys. 

Without further ado, here are Keys 3 and 4:

3. Always let your Conscience Be Your Guide

(Don't wear something you feel uncomfortable wearing in public...it's probably that thing called your conscience-or Holy Spirit- whispering in your ear)

4. If you've got it...you DON'T gotta flaunt it!

(Victoria's Secret-and most of the world- tells us we should flaunt it, but this is a sugar-coated lie)

Key #3: Always Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

When I think of the word conscience, I can't help but picture Pinocchio's little friend, Jiminy Cricket. He's a cute little representation of what a conscience is though in reality, carrying a cricket around everywhere would be a little creepy (and obnoxious). For those of us who know the Lord, we have what is called the Holy Spirit which dwells inside of us. The Holy Spirit guides and protects us with whatever we do and wherever we go. Sometimes we choose to listen to it, while other times we choose to ignore it. 

I truly believe that God cares about the choices that we make, which includes our wardrobe choices. So, dress according to what would please God, and not what would please others (like the cute boy at school). If you hear a whisper or have a funny feeling in your stomach about a wardrobe choice, LISTEN TO IT. 

Key #4: If You've Got It...You Don't Gotta Flaunt It

I've heard the quote "If you've got it, flaunt it!" one too many times. I've seen far too many Victoria's Secret ads, and I've seen enough racks of immodest clothing in department stores to last me a life time of eye sore. One of the world's messages is for women to be EYE CANDY. Along with the encouragement to "flaunt it", we are told to dress according to what would pleasure men most (this goes back to key#2-Think Like a Man). Digging even further, some women buy into the message that wearing little clothes will be the means to an end (whether that be a man, job, money or whatever else). 

We are surrounded by these negative messages which are of this world. So, how can we turn these messages around and be modest women in a world which tells us we are in the minority? One trick, is to do the opposite of what the world says. So, if the world tells us to flaunt it...then don't flaunt it. If the world tells us we are to seek men by dressing as eye candy...then don't dress in a way that makes you eye candy. If the world tells us we will gain something by dressing a certain way...don't give into the lie that this is the best way to gain something. Being aware of the negative messages our world sends us, as well as learning how to set our own standards is key to being a modest woman. 

<<<---lol. Not exactly the right message but I thought this was cute. 

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That is all I have for today. :) Next time, I will be writing on Keys 5 and 6. 

Be safe and choose modesty if you choose to dress up for Halloween this year. 

Blessings!

Anna

Keys to a Modest Wardrobe: Keys 1&2

Keys to a Modest Wardrobe: Keys 1 & 2

Well, It’s been awhile since I last blogged and there are several reasons for that. I will spare you most of the details and just say that there have been a lot of transitions for me lately. Also, we were without internet for a little while at our new apartment and resorted to walking over to Barnes and Nobles and using their Starbuck’s Wifi. Poor us...we had to buy Starbuck’s drinks for a few weeks. I felt like a total college student. And my husband and I don’t even drink coffee!

Anyway, I recall from my last post that I promised to go into more depth with each key (to a modest wardrobe). I am going to try to split this up into several posts, without writing a book on each. We’ll see how this goes! I am kind of free-writing/typing, so forgive me if I ramble or don’t make sense. I will do my best to convey what I want to get across for each key. Since I have a lot to say on the first two keys, I am only going to cover those in this post. 

To review, here are the first two keys:

1. Ask Yourself

(How am I representing myself? Am I staying true to who I am?)

2. Think Like a Man

(Knowing how men think and are designed is important when deciding how we should dress)

Key #1: Ask Yourself

I believe key 1 is very crucial, as it is rooted in how you perceive yourself. If one thinks lowly of oneself, then you may dress vibrantly and immodestly to counteract your low self esteem (and/or to attract attention to compensate for or cover up those feelings). A low self-esteem minded person may also hide behind baggy clothes or unattractive clothes in order to “blend in”. They may also just not care how they look or are perceived by others. If one thinks more highly of oneself, then you may dress with confidence (whether that be loud clothes or fashionable but modest clothes). I’ve also met people with high confidence who don’t care squat about what they wear. 

***A side note---Though I do believe that feeling and looking good can and does boost one’s self esteem, I do not believe that clothes or looks define a person or their confidence. Of course, I believe it all goes back to the person inside-particularly, the heart of a person. 

Mostly, I believe it’s important to ask yourself how you are representing yourself. Are you portraying yourself outwardly in a way that is in sync with who are on the inside? Or are people questioning your genuineness? For example, you may see christian girls at church who seem modest enough at church, but then act and dress differently outside of church...and you may end up questioning their character. 

If we are dressing modestly just for the “church crowd”, then we are not setting a good example to the rest of the world. More importantly, we are not honoring God. Being modest is a commitment you choose to make, which requires monitoring how you dress and act EVERY.DAY. EVERY.WHERE. 

Remember to stay true to who you are. Honor God with your body. Make a conscious effort to choose modesty everyday and everywhere you go. 

Key #2: Think Like a Man

After being married for a little over 4 months now, and having lived with a majority of boys growing up, I have come to grips with the fact that men are designed much differently than women. God made this to be a good thing. Aren’t you glad we aren’t all gray blobs who are all designed alike? I have this book titled Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. It’s a rather comedic illustration of the many differences between men and women. It particularly tickled me to read about why men need their “man caves”. It makes so much more sense now (read it, it’s GOLDEN!) I will try to include excerpts to share in future posts. :) 

One of the most important things we need to understand about men (besides their need for man caves) is that they are designed to be very visually stimulated. When I first learnt of this, I was honestly a bit thrown back (though I sort of knew it already). I questioned why God would do such a thing, since there are so many men who fall prey to pornography and which explains why there are prostitutes and strippers still out there. Obviously, we live in a fallen world and man is sinful and will continue to sin. I’m not saying it’s God’s fault that men sin in this way...it is after all, their choice. And yes, women fall prey to this area of sin as well. But for this post, I am focusing on men. :)

How this applies to women is that we can HELP men in this area, by not seeking their attention by dressing inappropriately. When we dress with limited clothing, we are walking billboards to men. We are advertising our bodies. “Here it is-Come and get it!” is what some men may be hearing. Or they may be thinking you are “easy”, “sexy”, “desirable”...etc. This is called lust. Women who dress immodestly are providing men with the keys to lust. Do you think most men who struggle with lust and pornography are respectful of women? Don’t you want men thinking “She seems like a nice, honest girl. I respect her character.” Or maybe a boyfriend or crush thinking “I really care for this girl. She has many valuable traits and is a good influence on me” rather than “She’s hot. She’s Sexy. I want her bod”----->This is what I would call trashy thinking. Not classy at all. 

I really think that women desire respect almost as much as they desire to be loved and needed (Cue Aretha Franklin). I know that I would not have decided to marry my husband if he didn’t respect me. One of the main reasons I chose him was because he is a true gentleman (who respects me) and he appreciates me for who I am-inwardly and outwardly. 

I desire this for all young women...that they save their bodies for their future husbands. Even if a woman decides to never marry, I still believe it is important to see themselves as an example to the world, and as stewards to God. 

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Well, I believe I’ve covered all I wanted to say on those first two keys. Again, I am sorry if I rambled at all. I had a lot to say! 

I am excited for this new season of fall (if you can call it that in California). This means sweaters, scarves, pumpkin pie, colorful leaves, tea-drinking and BOOT-WEARING! I feel fall is also easier to choose a modest wardrobe. One reason I don’t favor summer as much as other seasons, is that it’s hard to go out in public and see the immodest styles everywhere.

So....cheers to sweaters and boots and such! :)

P.S. Sweaters do not equal turtlenecks. There are cute non-turtleneck sweaters out there that still pass the modesty test! ;)