Keys to a Modest Wardrobe: Keys 1&2

Keys to a Modest Wardrobe: Keys 1 & 2

Well, It’s been awhile since I last blogged and there are several reasons for that. I will spare you most of the details and just say that there have been a lot of transitions for me lately. Also, we were without internet for a little while at our new apartment and resorted to walking over to Barnes and Nobles and using their Starbuck’s Wifi. Poor us...we had to buy Starbuck’s drinks for a few weeks. I felt like a total college student. And my husband and I don’t even drink coffee!

Anyway, I recall from my last post that I promised to go into more depth with each key (to a modest wardrobe). I am going to try to split this up into several posts, without writing a book on each. We’ll see how this goes! I am kind of free-writing/typing, so forgive me if I ramble or don’t make sense. I will do my best to convey what I want to get across for each key. Since I have a lot to say on the first two keys, I am only going to cover those in this post. 

To review, here are the first two keys:

1. Ask Yourself

(How am I representing myself? Am I staying true to who I am?)

2. Think Like a Man

(Knowing how men think and are designed is important when deciding how we should dress)

Key #1: Ask Yourself

I believe key 1 is very crucial, as it is rooted in how you perceive yourself. If one thinks lowly of oneself, then you may dress vibrantly and immodestly to counteract your low self esteem (and/or to attract attention to compensate for or cover up those feelings). A low self-esteem minded person may also hide behind baggy clothes or unattractive clothes in order to “blend in”. They may also just not care how they look or are perceived by others. If one thinks more highly of oneself, then you may dress with confidence (whether that be loud clothes or fashionable but modest clothes). I’ve also met people with high confidence who don’t care squat about what they wear. 

***A side note---Though I do believe that feeling and looking good can and does boost one’s self esteem, I do not believe that clothes or looks define a person or their confidence. Of course, I believe it all goes back to the person inside-particularly, the heart of a person. 

Mostly, I believe it’s important to ask yourself how you are representing yourself. Are you portraying yourself outwardly in a way that is in sync with who are on the inside? Or are people questioning your genuineness? For example, you may see christian girls at church who seem modest enough at church, but then act and dress differently outside of church...and you may end up questioning their character. 

If we are dressing modestly just for the “church crowd”, then we are not setting a good example to the rest of the world. More importantly, we are not honoring God. Being modest is a commitment you choose to make, which requires monitoring how you dress and act EVERY.DAY. EVERY.WHERE. 

Remember to stay true to who you are. Honor God with your body. Make a conscious effort to choose modesty everyday and everywhere you go. 

Key #2: Think Like a Man

After being married for a little over 4 months now, and having lived with a majority of boys growing up, I have come to grips with the fact that men are designed much differently than women. God made this to be a good thing. Aren’t you glad we aren’t all gray blobs who are all designed alike? I have this book titled Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. It’s a rather comedic illustration of the many differences between men and women. It particularly tickled me to read about why men need their “man caves”. It makes so much more sense now (read it, it’s GOLDEN!) I will try to include excerpts to share in future posts. :) 

One of the most important things we need to understand about men (besides their need for man caves) is that they are designed to be very visually stimulated. When I first learnt of this, I was honestly a bit thrown back (though I sort of knew it already). I questioned why God would do such a thing, since there are so many men who fall prey to pornography and which explains why there are prostitutes and strippers still out there. Obviously, we live in a fallen world and man is sinful and will continue to sin. I’m not saying it’s God’s fault that men sin in this way...it is after all, their choice. And yes, women fall prey to this area of sin as well. But for this post, I am focusing on men. :)

How this applies to women is that we can HELP men in this area, by not seeking their attention by dressing inappropriately. When we dress with limited clothing, we are walking billboards to men. We are advertising our bodies. “Here it is-Come and get it!” is what some men may be hearing. Or they may be thinking you are “easy”, “sexy”, “desirable”...etc. This is called lust. Women who dress immodestly are providing men with the keys to lust. Do you think most men who struggle with lust and pornography are respectful of women? Don’t you want men thinking “She seems like a nice, honest girl. I respect her character.” Or maybe a boyfriend or crush thinking “I really care for this girl. She has many valuable traits and is a good influence on me” rather than “She’s hot. She’s Sexy. I want her bod”----->This is what I would call trashy thinking. Not classy at all. 

I really think that women desire respect almost as much as they desire to be loved and needed (Cue Aretha Franklin). I know that I would not have decided to marry my husband if he didn’t respect me. One of the main reasons I chose him was because he is a true gentleman (who respects me) and he appreciates me for who I am-inwardly and outwardly. 

I desire this for all young women...that they save their bodies for their future husbands. Even if a woman decides to never marry, I still believe it is important to see themselves as an example to the world, and as stewards to God. 

**************************************************************

Well, I believe I’ve covered all I wanted to say on those first two keys. Again, I am sorry if I rambled at all. I had a lot to say! 

I am excited for this new season of fall (if you can call it that in California). This means sweaters, scarves, pumpkin pie, colorful leaves, tea-drinking and BOOT-WEARING! I feel fall is also easier to choose a modest wardrobe. One reason I don’t favor summer as much as other seasons, is that it’s hard to go out in public and see the immodest styles everywhere.

So....cheers to sweaters and boots and such! :)

P.S. Sweaters do not equal turtlenecks. There are cute non-turtleneck sweaters out there that still pass the modesty test! ;)

Keys to a Modest Wardrobe

   In my last 2 posts, I dove into my childhood and unveiled a few Disney characters who either failed (Jasmine) or passed (Belle and Cinderella) on my modesty scale. I know some may scoff that I began a modesty blog with Disney princesses, but I truly felt led to go back to the beginning of when I personally started being exposed to messages of modesty. I believe it's crucial to take in the whole picture, and get to the root of where our thoughts and beliefs began...including how we perceive modesty today.

   I know some of us really *like* the idea of dressing modestly and long to be respected for our inner beauty, but when it comes to implementing this into our daily life, it really can be a challenge. It's all about making a conscious decision every day to reflect modesty in how you dress and carry yourself. Okay, so I admit it really is one of those "easier said then done" things. My task for this post has been to come up with a list of "keys to a modest wardrobe" which I hope that I will live up to. This is an ongoing list, which I shall update if/when I come up with more to add on.

I dunno, it just gets me every time. haha

Whale....Here's my List ;) 

***In my future posts, I plan to go over a few at a time, in greater depth. :)

Keys to A Modest Wardrobe

1. Ask Yourself

(How am I representing myself? Am I staying true to who I am?)

2. Think Like a Man

(Knowing how men think and are designed is important when deciding how we should dress)

3. Always let your Conscience Be Your Guide

(Don't wear something you feel uncomfortable wearing in public...it's probably that thing called your conscience-or Holy Spirit- whispering in your ear)

4. If you've got it...you DON'T gotta flaunt it!

(Victoria's Secret-and most of the world- tells us we should flaunt it, but this is a sugar-coated lie)

5. Know Your Body

(Dress according to your individual figure)

6. Be Creative

(Do you sew or like to create something new out of something old? Don't let allow yourself to believe that there are "no modest clothes out there". One rule: Make your creations modest) ;)

7. Accessorize

(Find cute, fun accessories to jazz up a modest outfit)

8. Layer it on

(Learn how to layer over or under low cut tops, short dresses, immodest straps, etc.)

9. Don't Judge

(Just because you decide to dress modestly, doesn't give you the right to judge those who choose not to. Rather, focus on being an example)

10. Be Confident but Save the Sexy

(We can look and feel good, but that doesn't mean we need to be sexy (also a worldly lie). Your future spouse is the only one who should be calling you the "s" word) :)

11. The Plain Jane Myth

(Being modest doesn't mean you have to be a  "plain Jane" or wear a potato sack. God gave us creativity to express ourselves even in what we choose to wear.)

12. Attitude Matters

(This goes back to Key #1- How we treat others, how we talk, and how we carry ourselves as women is all about our attitude. Continually ask yourself-What is my motivation? Modesty is so much more than just how we dress!)

13. Clean it Out

(Get in the habit of inspecting your wardrobe every now and then to see what needs to go, or what you can donate)

14. Accountability

Ask your friends/family to hold you accountable to whether you're passing on the modesty scale, and whether you are staying true to who you are. 

15. Go Back to the Word

(If all else fails and you struggle with determining what's modest and what's not, check out scripture to see what God says about a woman's modesty (Example- 1 Tim 2: 9-10)

****************************************************************************************

Whale... 

Those are my keys to modesty. I know there are more that I'm just not thinking of right now (please tell me if I'm forgetting anything big). Like I said, I plan to dig deeper into each key, in my future posts. Stay tuned! 

Let me know which keys are "easier said than done" for you. I will come clean right now and say I struggle with #9 the most. It's real easy to look at others and say "at least I don't dress like THAT!" I mean, go watch "Fashion Police"...it's brutal! 

Anyway (I refrained from saying "whale" again hehe), it's almost time for my hubby to get home from work and we've got this interesting pot roast concoction chilling (well...actually cooking) in the crock pot which we are going to test out soon. Hopefully we are still alive after tasting. ;)

Ciao for now :)

Anna

Dressing like a True Princess Part 2

As a bit of an aside from what I'm posting about today, I must start off with saying two things: A)I know it's been awhile since I posted last. My goal was to make a new entry at least once a week. FAIL. Not really an epic fail though, since I'm still getting used to this blogging thing and well, life happens too. I can't always live in this constant world of cyberspace (warning: inflicts major headaches and withdrawal from the "real" outside world). I do have a hubby to care for, and bake with (we made BOMB shortbread cookies last night!) and all that other real life stuff. B)I think I was going to brag about the shortbread cookies and maybe point out the fact that sugar is becoming quite the constant companion in my married life. At least two good things come from this new sugar craving/addiction/obsessive baking disorder: 1. I am spending time with my hubby doing something we truly both enjoy! 2. I think sugar helps fuel my thoughts (I've been having some very vivid dreams lately. I do love remembering cool dreams. Not so much the scary spider ones. So, I do think it jogs my brain for ideas. Or gives me a coma. haha.)

Dressing Like A True Princess:

Which "princesses" I admired then and Which ones I respect now

Part 2: Who I Respect Now

In my last post, I revealed that my original favorite princess figure was Jasmine from Alladin. I ended up failing her on the modesty scale, and I did promise that I would take a look at the princesses who I feel reflect modesty more evidently and who I hold a higher respect for now. I know this may sound funny, especially when it comes to fictional characters (can you really have respect for a cartoon figure?) Oh well, I'm sure I sound funny/ridiculous with about 80% of what I type/what comes out of my mouth anyway. ;) 

So, now that I am becoming a grown woman (kinda-I still feel like a kid frequently) and I can look at the subject of modesty with a more mature set of eyes (as far as judging what passes on the modesty scale), I am going to reveal two disney princesses who I do feel reflect a certain amount of modesty worth mentioning. 

The two disney princesses who strike me as exuding the greatest amount of modesty are

........drum roll..........

These two beauties: 

Belle

Cinderella

Let me first tell you a few reasons why I am sucker for both of these stories. 1)They both come from broken families (or rather, family members are missing/dead)and yet still seem very grounded and are strong, confident women who have dreams and aspirations. 2)Belle falls in love with a beast who ends up being a dashing prince (she falls for his character and not his looks which is a great lesson on its own...and honestly guys, I fell in love with the beast more than his human form at the end of the movie).3)Cinderella endures the cruelty of how her step-mother and step-sisters treat her as a slave, and she hardly complains. Plus, she has cool animal friends who are natural seamstresses! 4)Both their characters (personalities) and outward appearances reflect a great amount of modesty. 

The pictures I chose to add first show Belle and Cinderella in very plain, everyday "work" clothes. They are both modest dresses which don't attract an obscene amount of attention to themselves (no glitz or glamor). What's cool about these ladies, is that though they dress plainly (only to be princess-ified later) their true beauty shines outwardly. They are both kind, loving, and thoughtful. I can personally relate to Cinderella's character slightly better, as she has this quiet demeanor about her whereas Belle seems to be a bit more outspoken. Plus, I like Cinderella's princess dress a little better. ;)P.S. I must confess that I do like the Beast better than Prince Charming (he's too mysterious...like how many words does he speak?)

Now let's take a look at these two after they've been princess-ified (meaning, all dolled-up and ready for, you know, a royal ball).

Not my color, but I always thought Belle looked stunning in it :)

and mostly modest (maybe a tad low-cut?)

***And yes...this was probably one of my favorite scenes. 

I loved how nervous the Beast was- so cute.

Poor Cinderella's first dress ruined by evil step-sisters :(

***Cinderella is still pretty AND modest even in rags!

BAM! And henceforth every little girl wanted a fairy godmother... 

***This has always been my favorite disney princess dress-

 I'm a sucker for blues! And it's modest :)

Well, now I want to watch both of these movies! I hear the soundtracks playing in the back of my mind...ugh! I don't have either movies...plus my hubby might raise his brows if he came home and saw me sobbing over a disney movie. hehe...

Does anyone question the modesty of either of these princesses? For me, they totally pass on the modesty and "true princess" scales. They truly reflect modesty, both on the outside and inside. Additionally, if my future daughter wanted to dress up as either Belle or Cinderella I wouldn't have a problem with it. Whereas, if she wanted to dress up as Jasmine I would likely say no. 

Just for review:

Jasmine: FAIL

Belle: PASS

Cinderella: PASS

I haven't quite decided on the subject of my next entry, but I may either talk about today's "real" celebrities (meaning not cartoons)and judge them on the modesty scale or I may start my first entry on how to dress modestly/keys to a modest wardrobe. 

Please let me know if there are any other specific topics related to modesty that you'd like me to cover...I'm up for any challenge! :)

Cheers!

Anna

Dressing Like a True Princess Part 1

Intro: 

I am currently snuggled up on the couch with a "homemade" scone (hubby and I actually used a kit, but we still mixed it all up and did in fact make it at home...home-made?) ;) We did, however, make the whipped cream from scratch (which really isn't the hardest thing to make) and I couldn't resist sprinkling some cinnamon+sugar to top it all off. So, with some sugar to fuel my thoughts, I begin my next entry.


***As a forewarning, I am still new to this blogging thing and as my mind tends to flow in countless directions most of the time, my writings may not seem entirely cohesive. I do apologize for this, but hopefully my rusty writing...er... typing hand will improve with practice and time.

What I'm really Posting about Today:

Dressing Like A True Princess:

Which "princesses" I admired then and Which ones I respect now

Part 1: Who I admired then

At some point in their short earthly lives, almost every little (and big) girl all over the world has the hopeless dream of becoming a princess. Since most of us will never be a princess (in the sense of living in a castle and marrying into a royal family) we are truly tickled with conjuring up thrilling, alternative lives "if I were a princess..." and don't we just LOVE dreaming up our wardrobes (okay, and who our prince charming will be too!) What little girl doesn't like to play "make believe" and "dress up"? Come on...you know that's you... ;) I'm pretty sure I dressed up as a princess for halloween at least 3 or 5 times (after I got over the black cat stage haha). 

We must ask the (somewhat obvious) question, where does all the princess inspiration coming from? Maybe some of us heard it from our parents "You're our little princess" or maybe some of us were taught in Sunday school that we are God's princesses (which I do believe we are if we've accepted Christ!) However, the majority of our princess-knowledge and inspiration comes from the world of (secular) media. Some of my personal favorite princess movies are "The Little Princess" and "A Princess Bride". I must admit, however, that (hands-down) my favorite princess while growing up was Jasmine from the movie Aladdin. I just couldn't get over the beautiful, long, jet black hair let alone the pet tiger and handsome, thieving boyfriend (No wonder I went through a "bad boy" stage!) Genie and the magic carpet were super cool too, not to mention the gorgeous palace to live in! 

Well, since this is a blog on modesty, we of course must take a look at Jasmine's wardrobe (though most of you have already been picturing it, right?) Pictured below are the lovely colored genie pants and bikini-ish top Jasmine is known for, accented by a jeweled headband with some rather large gold earrings and a gold necklace to top it all off. Her hair and makeup is particularly flawless (isn't animation just SO forgiving like that?!) I suppose I could mention the genie/elf shoes too, since those are usually a sign of playfulness (in my opinion). To sum this princess's style up in just a few words, I would call it: Royal Playfulness. Post continued below....

Overall, the movie has a playful sort of theme, with a fairytale love story of two ridiculously good-looking characters (and how many days did they know each other??), set in an exotic land, with a cool lamp which holds a comedic genie who makes your dreams come true, and magic carpet rides which provoke couples to fall hopelessly in love (who have just met!!) and of course to break out in song (cue "A Whole New World"). And Aladdin even gets a kiss at the end of that night! Was it love or lust at first sight? More importantly, what happens after they fly off into the clouds at the end of the movie? Happily ever after, right? Forgive me for getting somewhat off topic, but I can't help but be a little skeptical with the messages Disney sends its viewers. It's more than just immodesty!

As far as the message of modesty goes, Jasmine's character does not exactly exude humbleness and modesty. Rather, she encourages girls that showing skin is okay, and I think she gives the message that outward looks DO matter. Like most disney princesses, Jasmine is free-spirited and likes to decide things for herself. She deliberately disobeys her father which shows a lack of respect for elders. In addition, I also believe she shows a lack of judgement (by falling for a thief and not really getting to know him very well). Maybe if she had had a mother figure, this rebellious and scantily-clad princess would have had a better handle on how to portray herself. Overall, however, I do believe she falls rather short of the model of modesty which I strive to follow.

Just some questions to ask yourself and to ask your daughters/girls you know: 

1. How would Jasmine's character be different if she dressed more modestly? Also, does Jasmine have any (inner) qualities that reflect modesty?

2. I recall a quote she says, along the lines of "I am not a prize to be won" but with the way she dresses,  does she seem like she is focused more on adorning her outward self as a representation of who she is or is she working on bettering her inner self/winning over a man by her character and not her looks/how she dresses?

3. Is Jasmine really a character worth admiring? 

4. If you could re-design Jasmine's costume, what would it look like? (If I knew how to draw, I'd totally sketch out my ideas here...but I'll stick to photographing as my artistic channel haha)

This wraps up my first scrutinization of one of my favorite childhood princesses, and really opens my eyes (and hopefully yours and others) to what I DON'T want to model as far as modesty goes. I do not believe she dresses like a true princess (sorry Jasmine-you fail!) In Part two I plan to reveal some princesses who I feel DO reflect how a true princess of modesty dresses and presents herself. Stay tuned :) Later, I will also talk about the models of this generation and I will judge whether they fail or pass my modesty meter!

Until then, go watch Aladdin and let me know which character (if any) you think reflects the greatest amount of modesty? Hint: Raja and Abu do not count :0)

Have a lovely Thursday!

~Anna

The "M" Word

Intro

Happy Monday! :)As my hubby(as of 3 weeks and two days!)pointed out to me yesterday, there seems to be quite the "blogging fever" going around lately. I tried to remain immune to this craze, but I must admit I've been feeling a strong itch again to share my feelings with the blogging world. I like the idea of having a space to lay out my ramblings and also discuss things that really strike into my soul as something I am and should be passionate about.

The Big "M" Word

One of the many areas I believe I've been given a strong desire to share and model to those around me is the big "M" word- modesty. Some may argue that this issue is rather minute, irrelevant, or even a gray area which can be difficult to translate and teach. I beg to differ! Modesty is truly (TRULY, TRULY!) one of the greatest gifts we (particularly women) can give to the world. 

We inhabit a world in which secular media is one of the primary sources of influence, and the need to be "unique" or stand out in the crowd is becoming frighteningly more important to children far and wide (Lady Gaga come to mind?). There are many "models" in today's society which entice us with messages that say "Look at me, I'm successful, I'm beautiful, I'm hot, I'm desirable and sexy, BE LIKE ME!" (etc. etc...)Our kids are told that they need to blend in and be a part of that "cool kids" grouping (meaning, "if the cool kids are dressing immodestly, then I need to do that too!") Well, I don't know about you but I want my future children to have a strong desire to stand out in all the right ways- including to reflect a modest, humble and God-loving character. 

In one of my future posts, I plan to further scrutinize the models/idols that society dishes out every day for our youth- From playful disney princesses, to seemingly innocent cartoons, to the red carpets with faces like Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus and the Kardashian girls.

Eventually, I would like to post on how to dress fashionably modest because that IS possible! :) Maybe I'll even gain the courage to post pictures of outfits that I come up with which I believe reflect this. I think it would be neat to get some friends/readers to help post their modest fashions on here as well.  

I will leave this first post with the following bible verse which I strive to live by and which I believe is one of the greatest (if not the greatest) definitions of modesty:

^{1 Timothy 2: 9-10}

⁹  "...Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, ¹⁰ but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."

And Until next time...remember this for the hotter summer days approaching: 

Modesty is hottest! :)

~Anna